Okay, hit the magic 15 lbs. lost and then went on the cruise late May and proceeded to not exercise all summer.  The good news is that when (note the past tense)–I didn’t overeat… just stayed on the 1200 calorie diet, I didn’t gain!

Well, that lead to cheating, starting in August… and I guess I should be grateful that I haven’t gained more than 3-4 lbs. back, however I really really want to lose 15 more (now 18!) and this week I’m thinking that I need to get back on the wagon.

I’ve been really *thinking* hard about exercising… and that isn’t going to cut it.  I need to set up a date that I will stick to it and just do it.

I’m tired and a bit disgusted.  I had high hopes for the summer and it didn’t turn out quite as planned.

To top it all, I have tingling and numbness on most of the left side of my face, started last Monday with my tongue and moved outward from there. Not awful, just like the last half hour of Novocaine before it wears off–but for days now.   I have a neurologist appointment on Tuesday morning and I’m a bit scared. Since the 2005 transverse myelitis incident, I’ve been afraid because the first neurologist at the time said I could have MS or develop it in the next 5-10 years and wanted to see me annually.  Of course I fired him for that type of cRazY talk but I’ve never forgotten it.

I have relationship issues with doctors and that didn’t help my attitude.  And since my MO is to show up at a walk-in emergency clinic every two years for upper respiratory infection, I don’t really have a regular doctor and the last time I saw a real one (2005 was my big year for medical checkups)… they don’t take kindly to me–or give me priority.

HEY… I get my mammogram and see an OBGYN annually, I’m not stupid.  I get my ear checked (okay, maybe I need a new otologist… we had a little falling out), I have an eye doctor… just not a general practitioner.

I met a nice neurologist locally last year for some eye issues, but I’m going back to Wilmington–like I should have last year.  Back in 2005 I found a guy who specializes in MS (so he would know what is not MS) as a second opinion in 2005 and he did a wait and see, but I haven’t really checked in with him–well, actually I remember 2-3 years ago, but his office said I didn’t.  I am sorry I won’t see him on Tuesday, I’ll see someone else.  I’m sure I’ll get an MRI and as long as it is clean, I think that I’m in the clear.

According to the first doctor, one more demyelating incident might get me the dreaded diagnosis that has been haunting me.  However, I’m only going to think happy thoughts. But since it is always in the back of my mind, I know that a healthy and responsible diet and exercise might be more of a priority if MS ever becomes a reality, so that is part of my wake up call to me.

Also, I *hate* my baby belly… sans baby, it is just pathetic!  And there’s only one way to get rid of it… and that means get off my a@%!