Okay, so what I’ve left out lately is how I *completely* fell off the wagon after such an excellent start with my weight loss this year. My last post about my weight was getting my Fitbit–which was terrific and I still love, but I stopped for surgery in June and never went back.

I made it until August before I started gaining again. It creeps up on you, dammit.

So after hitting an all-time high–208 lbs. in January, which really frightened me–I got some coaching from a personal trainer and added walking and strength training and started counting calories, I made it down to 185 lbs. by June 1st to gaining back 10 by November 1st [insert blood-curdling scream of frustration].

I need to get back to the gym, but I’m dreading it again… I can’t bring myself to go, and I have to stop that way of thinking. I’m feeling fat, ugly and like a big loser again. And all of the trainers and employees at the Y are amazing and supportive people, so I know that it is my issue, but I feel like a failure.

So, I have to purposefully get out every day,  buy the right foods, and plan my meals. I need to plan my day (and evening) so that I have time in the morning to go to the gym. Once I start, I’ll go back on a regular basis.

I just need to start.