Great, make fun of me when I write all over myself with my Sharpie before surgery, but *this* is what happens when you aren’t careful! http://bit.ly/UD8qNF See???!!!
So, it was either the second or the third time I had the cholesteatoma removed from my left eardrum, a nurse came in (while I was on the table, but before I was sedated) and confirmed what ear the surgery was on and then gave me a black Sharpie marker and said ‘Put an X on the ear that the surgery is going to be performed on.’
Hmmm. She left the room. In my mind, X means ‘no’… so without any guidance, I made the executive decision to put a ‘YES’ under my left ear and then a ‘NO’ under my right ear… time goes on… I’m still alone… I put a ‘NO’ on my left hand and my right hand… still alone… I added some other ‘No’s to other obvious limbs (just in case).
…time goes on and the doctor, his assistant… a nurse or two… all staring at me.
Dr. T.: ‘What did you do?’
Me: ‘Well, she told me to put an X on the ear to be operated on, but ‘X’ means no to me so I put “YES”
Dr. T.: ‘And… ?’
Me: ‘Well, I put “NO” where you shouldn’t operate’ (and showed him my feet…). Leading me to tell him (and I’m not sure why)
…and by the way, I wrote on my nipples, “If you are reading this, my lawyer will be contacting you”
I think the nurse wet her pants because she left the room rather quickly and I don’t recall her coming back. His assistant cracked up but Dr. T. didn’t crack a smile. Whatever. Anyway, I read the article about the poor woman yesterday in the Philly and felt COMPLETELY vindicated.
Oh, and by the way, at my post-op visit, I first met with the young intern who was with Dr. T. during the surgery (and hopefully not DOING the surgery) and he was giving me some stupid questions [clearly he hadn’t read my chart]. When I just stared at him [deadpan look], he quickly read through my chart (before asking any more questions) and then looked up laughing and said ‘Oh, NOW I remember you…’
To which I replied ‘Oh really, something you READ perhaps?’